


Died Lost

by B3autifully_br0ken



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, I Don't Even Know, Love Poems, M/M, Please Kill Me, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22292938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B3autifully_br0ken/pseuds/B3autifully_br0ken
Summary: A sad poem inspired by the creepy preacher at a church I will never return to.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Died Lost

He held the world in his hands, his heart was full of love even when none of it was for himself. He knew he didn't love himself, he knew that and he was okay with it. He preferred it this way. 

The sadness in his eyes and the scars on his skin never compared to his love for the world. No matter the world is what brought the exact sadness he tries to will away, no matter the world is what tore the most important of his love, away. 

He loved those of who hated him. He loved the animals and skies, he loved his family and all the animal companions they've ever had. He loved the plants and water, the bark on trees and all the color the world could ever had created for him.

Most of all, he loved a boy. A boy with the most curly of hair, long and so soft. Louis held the most love for him, more than he had ever loved anything. He loved the boy more than the moon and stars combined. 

He loved that boy to the ends of the universe and back, three times over. He had decided a long time ago that he'd go wherever that boy asked him to, follow him into the sky and into the dirt if that's what he wanted. 

In his dull world, the boy brought him color, brought him life in the most wonderful of ways. Showed him the love he didn't have, shared his love untill Louis found his own. He fell for that boy, loved him with all he had and when the curly haired boy fell ill, he was stuck in the tar like sadness once again. Drowning in it when he attended the funeral, suffocated in his tears and loss of breathe when they lowered his casket. 

He spend the months falling for the darkness once again, because finding a love like that would feel worse than what the darkness would eventually bring him.

When he lost his boy, he took that love with him, left Louis to find more, and so Louis found his love in the trees, in the green of the grass and darkness of the night.

Despite the beauty and joy this world brought him, it was never enough to fight back the darkness in him. It was never good enough. The darkness always came back when he lies awake at night, and it always seeps into his pores and in through the air he breathed. It always found him, because even the love in his heart wasn't enough to fight off the lack of love he had for himself. 

He may have loved the world and all it had to offer, he may have loved the way the sky above him painted a different picture everyday, and he may have loved all the different flowers that grew in his backyard, but despite the love, despite the peace it brought him, it was temporary. It was only a shield but he didn't know that. He didn't know that one day his arms would grow heavy and one day- he'd drop the shield. 

That day could only bring him the sadness he had been pretending didn't exist. It would all come back to him in an instant, it would knock him to the ground and bury him in the dirt, left to suffocate. Alone, and lost, just as his boy had suffered. 

Louis died lost. The wonder, the curiosity and love, the desire to seek even more, new wonders of the world, it wasn't enough to fight off his desire to fall into to the darkness. 

And one day, when he drops his shield, he will surrender to the darkness, to the void of nonexistence, clouded by the desire to see those of who he had lost, once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 30 minutes and I'm only posting it because I posted it on wattpad too so I was like why not so


End file.
